A duck walks into a pub and waddles up to the bar. “A pint of local ale and a sandwich please, barkeep”. The barman is obviously quite surprised by this, but being so shocked serves a pint of the local tipple and a sandwich. The duck eats, pays up leaving a big tip and leaves.

The following day, the duck walks into the pub again, and waddles up to the bar. “A pint of local ale and a sandwich please, barkeep”. The barman is again shocked, and without thinking serves him a pint of local ale and a sandwich which the duck greedily consumes. Again after leaving a big tip, the duck leaves.

The next day, the same duck walks into the pub, and waddles up to the bar. “A pint of local ale and a sandwich please, barkeep”. The barman looks at him shrewdly, and serves him. As the duck is leaving, the barman says to him “can I ask you a question?” “Sure, go ahead” replies the duck.

“I’m not complaining, because you’re a good customer, but whats the story? Every day you come in here and, with your quaint but antiquated language order a pint and sandwich, leave too big a tip, and then leave without saying a word.” The duck nods slowly, and steps a bit close to the barman. “Well, you see, I’m working on the building site opposite, on a two week contract. So infact, if you can serve me a different local ale every day and one of your fine sandwiches, I’ll be sure to carry on tipping as I do and make no fuss.” The barman obviously agrees, and so this continues for the rest of the fortnight.

On the final day of his contract, the barman has his ale and sandwich ready, and as the duck comes to the bar to collect them he leans over excitedly. “I’ve a friend in the circus, I know your job is coming to an end and I think you’d be great for him!”

The duck raises an eyebrow. “The circus?”

The barman nods enthusiastically, “Yeah the one down the road.”

The duck looks at him. “The circus, down the road?”

The barman nods, smiling. “Yeah, the circus, down the road, past the post office.”

The duck looks at him, a bit more seriously. “The circus, down the road, past the post office.”

The barman smiles, “Yeah, the circus, down the road, past the post office. In the farmers field.”

The duck looks confused. “The circus, down the road, past the post office, in the farmers field?”

The barman, still genial, replies “Yep. The circus, down the road, past the post office, in the farmers field, behind the big grey fence.”

The duck stares back at the barman, blankly. “The circus, down the road, past the post office, in the farmers field, behind a big grey fence?”

The barman is beginnging to lose his good nature now. “Yes. The circus, down the road, past the post office, in the farmers field, it’s behind a big grey fence. The huge red and white tent, you can’t miss it.”

The duck looks at the barman as if he’s stupid. “The circus, down the road, past the post office, in the farmers field, behind a big grey fence, in a huge red and white tent I can’t miss?”

The barman is beginning to be a little exasperated now. “Yes. Circus. Down the road. Post office. Farmers field, big grey fence. Red and white tent. HUGE pole in the middle of the tent.”

The duck is now completely lost. Circus. Down the road. Post office. Farmers field, big grey fence. Red and white tent. HUGE pole in the middle of the tent?”

The barman has gone red and shouts, “GAH! Circus. Down the road. Post office. Farmers field, big grey fence. Red and white tent. HUGE pole. Guy ropes EVERYWHERE.”

The duck scratches his beak and slowly replies, “What the fuck would they want with a plasterer?”